When I had my son 5 years ago, this was one of my main concerns.. how do I do this without “f*#- ing” him up.
Well It’s the million dollar question isn’t it? It’s what we read articles for… why we ask friends and family for their advice and why we turn to the professionals.
I decided on this topic for today’s blog post after having a play date with a couple of friends last week. Our kids were running wild and playing together and of course it wasn’t without me having to have a few stern discussions with my son on the importance of communicating (instead of hitting), using his manners and being a kind friend.
We all came to the conclusion that we will all “some how” f*# em up, eventually. It’s just to what level or degree it’s at and that the thing to concentrate on, is how we teach them to deal with it.. how to be resillient and embrace all experiences in life, because let’s face it .. we’re all living with our issues and insecurities and we all have expectations based on what we’ve experienced and what we’ve learnt throughout our lives… as children!
I’m by no means an expert however, everything that happened to me as a child has ultimately shaped what I do as an adult and this is exactly what my role as a Mother is.. it’s shaping my child for his future. Giving him the best foundation I can.
Whoah.. talk about the pressure and it’s the one thing I’ve always said since becoming a Mum is “I only get one shot at it” (not f*#-ing him up that is)
Remember there’s no qualification needed for being a parent!
So what I did over the years is looked at the things that worked and the messages I’ve taken with me from my childhood that I absolutely want to pass on, then looked at the things that I do now that would have been of benefit, if I had of known and done as a child.
So in a nut shell my 5 hot tips for you today are:
1. Breathe… when you are about to cry, when you are about to blow your stack, pull your hair out and give up, breathe! Remember that this is just a phase, you are doing a great job and tell yourself “you’ve got this”!
2. Love them unconditionally… and yes this does include when they pee all over the toilet seat and floor. Make sure they know they are loved even when their behaviour is less than desirable! Tell them as often as you can, even if it annoys them! (my son says “I KNOWWWWW-AH MUM!)
3. Be positive . there is always something to be glad about.. find the smallest things to be grateful for.. on a bad day this could simply be bedtime! My son and I start every single day with what we are grateful for.
4. Seek help! This might simply be from a family member or friend who will give you an hour to yourself, while you shave your legs and wash your hair!
5. REPEAT… when all else fails, repeat number 1, 2, 3 & 4
Now where’s a glass of wine?